Skip to main content

Attachment theory/Time for a spiritual checkup!


Today as I was doing my hair I started to talk to God. Many times I feel lonely and confused which always leads me to the front of the prayer line at church. In a way this is a crutch for me and I am tired of it. There is nothing wrong with having other people pray for you, but it’s time that I start praying for myself. I want my own relationship with God. I do not want to kick myself on judgment day when God shows me everything that he desired for me to do in this world, but I didn’t because of ungodly attachments.

We were created by and in the image of God so why is it so hard to let Tyron and them go? God is our ultimate attachment. We were created to be attached to him, he is our first love. When God created Adam, God was the first person he saw and spoke to. There was no Eve, no mamma, daddy or worldly pleasure. Why is it so easy to leave God, but we have a mental break down when it is time to release the people from our past (or present)?

The attachment theory is based in psychology and has been studied by psychologist such as Sigmund Freud and John Bowlby. There are four patterns of attachment that are connected to this theory: secure attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment and disorganized-disoriented attachment. As Christians all of us fall into one of these patterns. This is beginning to get a little educational but please read on.  In psychology secure attachment is defined by a child viewing his or her parent as a comfort zone. If a parent were to leave a child who falls into this pattern, the child would become upset and go to the parent upon their return (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). A child who falls under the avoidant attachment pattern avoids his or her parent as if he or she is upset by the parent’s departure (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). In the ambivalent attachment pattern a child displays both positive and negative reactions in the above circumstances. The child is upset when the parent leaves but upon the parents return the child may either kick the parent  or want to be close to them(Feldman, 2011, p. 180). The disorganized- disoriented pattern is applied to children who are inconsistent in behavior. The child will not look at his or her parent when he or she approaches them (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). The rarest form of attachment is the reactive attachment disorder which could be the result of neglect. In this pattern of behavior the child has attachment issues.

Which pattern do you fall under child of God? No one should say the reactive pattern because God said that he would never leave nor forsake you. What are you believing in and if it’s not God, why did you stop trusting him?

I used my text book as a reference for writing this blog

References

Feldman, R. S. (2011). Development across the life span. (6th ed., pp. 179-180). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Need Prayer?

“But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail”   (Luke 22:32a). For a time, I didn’t ask people for prayer . I became protective of ‘my stuff,’ and I backed away from needing people because I had me-the army of one. I felt alone, misunderstood; all the things that I wanted no one to know about because  I got me . This mindset created offense and functional depression. I backed away so that no one would see it; no one knew me enough to recognize what it looked like.  “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat” (Luke 22:32b).   What does it look like when you are being sifted? The sifting starts early in life and can be a continuous pattern if the devil feels like his tactics are working against you. I asked a friend recently, “Why am I so emotional? Did God give me these emotions?” I tend to feel deeply because I am an intercessor, but the emotions have to be stewarded properly. You have to master them by submit...

Will You Marry Me?

I’m not obsessed, but I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot more lately. As a Christian, I’ve learned where I went wrong concerning my standards of dating before I knew Jesus. I have been looking at the profile pages of exes to see if, perhaps, I was missing something. I’m happy to report that I am not. I more so found myself thanking God for what He didn’t allow. Even though I’m thankful for every failed relationship, I find myself encountering the hurt that still remains as a result of my insecurities. There is so much that I have not let go of. In a way,I’m afraid to let go of the hurt that I am carrying because that vacant spot could potentially attract more pain in its place. I want to trust people, but the fear of them knowing who I intimately am always gets in my way.                 I so badly desire God and everything that He has for me, but the past is a hinderance. I feel as if I should finally forgive those that misused me, ...

I Forgot About Grace

  “He answered me, “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds its full expression through your weakness.” So, I will celebrate my weakness, for when I’m weak I sense more deeply the mighty power of Christ living in me.”   (2 Corinthians 12:9-10 TPT) Today I read a devotional, and it reminded me that I forgot about grace. I always say that God is good, but I forget to say that God is graceful. On most days I operate in an autopilot state, and I give out of an empty cup. It’s exhausting to say the least, especially when life seemingly finds a way to knock the joy out of you through hardships. God is not just good, He is graceful. He gives us the grace to stand when our emotions make us want to fall to our knees in submission to defeat. God is graceful, and He covers us when we cry ourselves to sleep in an attempt to keep the truth of our situations hidden from the world. God is graceful! I never understood  the ...

Take Up Your Cross

  God paved the way for my present and my future with the prayers that He placed into my heart many years ago. I didn’t know what new challenges I would have to overcome or what would be required of me as I uttered the sentiments of my heart into His ears. All I knew was that I wanted to serve Him.   One my many heart’s desires was to not be a seat filler. I didn’t want to grow content with occupying a seat in the church and never getting out of it to go into all the world to do what God had ordained for me to do in the earth.    At that time I didn’t know who God had called me to be and I didn’t understand that some of my prayers was an indication of it.   Spoken from a transparent place, as life happened, the more God told me to get up the more I wanted to sit down. Tiredness and fear had gripped me on more occasions than I want to admit and I have had the audacity to whisper, “ get somebody else to do it”, on more than one occasion. I felt justified in what I...

You are Not Lost in the Crowd. God Sees You!

Someone asked the question Why do we sing? When we lift our hands to Jesus What do we really mean ~Kirk Franklin “Why we sing?” It’s very very easy to get lost in the realm of religion or to get caught up in the hype of “church”. God has blessed so many of his people with gifts and talents that range from writing and composing, to worshiping, preaching and dancing. At my church, it seems like every one has some sort of gift and I must admit that I feel lost in the shuffle, but that brings me to point of asking myself questions such as ,“who am I going to church for?” and “whose attention am I aiming for?” Everyone wants to be noticed. We want to be praised and we want to be the favorite child, but at what cost? What are we paying to be number one in the congregation’s eyes? and do we even care if God is pleased with us right where we are? I’m the queen of being offended and I often compare myself, my progression in Christ, and my life to others. This should not be so and...

I have Chosen You: Distractions and Distress are not Your Portion

“You did not choose me, but I choose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, He may give it to you.”                                                        (John 15:16 ESV).    At the church that I attend, the stage/ alter has   steps that one can  ascend  on to reach the top. As I looked at the steps, I envisioned what God is doing in this season. I saw a representative on the floor before the steps began ,  and I saw them moving up one step at a time. We are in a season of elevation and with elevation comes great responsibility.  As I consider the prayers that I have prayed and the questions that I have asked  God , I see the answers all around me, but inwardly I have rejected the responsibility that comes ...

War For Your Destiny!

Not only is there a war for your destiny, but YOU have to war for your destiny. Disadvantages and hardships came against Moses when he was a baby because of the size of his purpose. The level that the devil fights you gives an indication of the multitude that God wants to use you. God has placed such awesomeness on the inside of you that you don’t even know about. You are a threat to the devil’s kingdom.   He wants you to not know who you really are. He wants you to believe that you are not special. Your destiny is why you go through so much. I met a young girl today that blowed me away with her talent. She could not only sing, but she could also play the piano. What impressed me most about this young girl is that she talked about grace. This let me know that she knew something about God. Where I work, I hear about God, but not his grace. In the midst of every emotion, set back, and battle that we encounter, we have to know that God is graceful. The enemy attempts to come agains...

Worship until I pass out!

Stop questing God about what is taking him so long to bless you and stop comparing you’re “come up” to how the people of the world are operating.   God reigns on the just as well as the unjust (Matthew 5:45). Your” hard time” is meant to glorify your father in heaven! Let them look down on you, let them talk about you because guess what, God has some C4 (dunamis power, dynamite) ready that he is about to release on your behalf. You will walk in your destiny, but it will be in God’s timing. God is going to use you in the position that he will himself create for you, but first he has to train you to perform well on the Job. You have to be led by the ultimate Shepard so that he can teach you to have the gentleness, kindness, love and patience that you will need to have for the place that he is sending you. The money and the things will come, but right now you need to know how to sit at your father’s feet and worship. You are not mature enough for all the blessings that God has lined...

Keep Your Lamp Filled

  “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept” (Matthew 25:1–5). Everyone had the same mindset to go to the same place for the same reason. Everyone was on their way, but partial action was taken by five of the virgins. The bridegroom had the capacity to care for all ten. Everyone had a lamp, but everyone did not have oil to see Who they were waiting for. The oil was available, but five virgins did not take the initiative to get more oil. What they had was not enough for the journey they were on. Five of the virgins were wise; they did what was needed to obtain more oil. The other five virgins were foolish, thinking that what they had was enough and that getting...

So You Think Your All That?

Every day I am learning that I am not my own. In spiritual warfare you cannot do the things that you used to do, say the things that you used to say, watch the things that you used to watch, or even hang around the people that you used to hang around. In many ways I am stubborn in all theses things and I have to be honest and say that I pay the price mentally for it. As a person who was a day dreamer and fantasizer before I gave my life to Christ, this has been a true battle area for me. I am a thinker, I have always been a thinker, but now God is using my mind for his purposes. He inspires me and gives me things to write down. Lately I have been a very negative thinker. I have been depressed, resenting my place in my life, and finding every horrible fault in the way that I feel I am being treated. In the words of Joyce Myer, I have to think about what I am thinking about. Ya’ll, pride can be a hard demon to slay. Many times we feel entitled and God wants us to drop the attitude an...