Attachment theory/Time for a spiritual checkup!

Today as I was doing my hair I started to talk to God. Many times I feel lonely and confused which always leads me to the front of the prayer line at church. In a way this is a crutch for me and I am tired of it. There is nothing wrong with having other people pray for you, but it’s time that I start praying for myself. I want my own relationship with God. I do not want to kick myself on judgment day when God shows me everything that he desired for me to do in this world, but I didn’t because of ungodly attachments.

We were created by and in the image of God so why is it so hard to let Tyron and them go? God is our ultimate attachment. We were created to be attached to him, he is our first love. When God created Adam, God was the first person he saw and spoke to. There was no Eve, no mamma, daddy or worldly pleasure. Why is it so easy to leave God, but we have a mental break down when it is time to release the people from our past (or present)?

The attachment theory is based in psychology and has been studied by psychologist such as Sigmund Freud and John Bowlby. There are four patterns of attachment that are connected to this theory: secure attachment, avoidant attachment, ambivalent attachment and disorganized-disoriented attachment. As Christians all of us fall into one of these patterns. This is beginning to get a little educational but please read on. In psychology secure attachment is defined by a child viewing his or her parent as a comfort zone. If a parent were to leave a child who falls into this pattern, the child would become upset and go to the parent upon their return (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). A child who falls under the avoidant attachment pattern avoids his or her parent as if he or she is upset by the parent’s departure (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). In the ambivalent attachment pattern a child displays both positive and negative reactions in the above circumstances. The child is upset when the parent leaves but upon the parents return the child may either kick the parent or want to be close to them(Feldman, 2011, p. 180). The disorganized- disoriented pattern is applied to children who are inconsistent in behavior. The child will not look at his or her parent when he or she approaches them (Feldman, 2011, p. 180). The rarest form of attachment is the reactive attachment disorder which could be the result of neglect. In this pattern of behavior the child has attachment issues.

Which pattern do you fall under child of God? No one should say the reactive pattern because God said that he would never leave nor forsake you. What are you believing in and if it’s not God, why did you stop trusting him?

I used my text book as a reference for writing this blog

References

Feldman, R. S. (2011). Development across the life span. (6th ed., pp. 179-180). Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.

Comments

The Process of Faithing It: Trusting Jesus with Your Faith

“Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction” (Mark 5:34 NKJV). Can you imagine Jesus in a crowd? Everyone has a need, but His target in that moment is to go and build the faith of a little girl’s family at the request of her father because they think that she will die. The father is scared, but Jesus was on the way until He felt something. This feeling was different, but powerful. Jesus turns around looking, asking questions, but finds his answer in the form of a woman, standing and looking amazed at what just happened to her. After 13 years of anemia, tiredness, dizzy spells, soiled clothing, and impacted relationships, she is healed. This woman with an issue of blood had spent all of her money, but decided to trust Jesus with her faith, which was all that she had left. Jesus was not too busy to stop and ask, “Who touched me?”. The disciples reminded Jesus of all the people that were around them, but this touch was different. Some...

The Healing Prophet

I did not desire to write this, but I heard this title and agreed to be obedient. I once read a statement by Tasha Cobbs Leonard. She shared that she would go and sing, return home, and then feel depressed. I understand that feeling more than I would like to admit. Depression is a weapon the enemy uses against those whom God has anointed in many areas. Depression has stagnation attached to it, and its assignment is to either kill you, isolate you, or both. As a therapist, I help many people navigate through depression. I advise increased therapy sessions and medication when needed. I tell them all the ways to battle what has been battling them while being in the very same fight myself. Depression is nobody’s friend. It is an enemy that wounds. The Healing Prophet is an intentional title. It speaks to the heart of the one who carries and speaks the oracles of God, and today, God has a word for you, and for me. “Get up and believe Me.” I...

Breaking Out of The Mundane

I r emember when I first got filled with the Holy Sp i rit . I felt as if I had no control over my self . I woke up one morning singing a song that I ha d never heard in the language of God and that thang had a lot of high notes, but it was beautiful. I found myself praying more and I was n' t so rese r ved with what God wanted to do with me. I recall praying for my mother and I was the one to fall out, but her medical report came back perfect. I also rem em ber spending the night with my aunt and getting no sleep at all because I was sent there to work. I danced around her hospital bed and I prayed for her, her leg was healed that night. I also recall just walk ing around the hospital praying down the halls. Now I wonder what happen to me . W hy am I so dis c ontent when I know the power of God and what he wants do through me? I've become reserved. The question I ask my self now is how do I break out of the mundaneness that I feel in my life....

Those Are Fighting Words!!

If you would, imagine that words can be cloth in armor, have a helmet on, and can carry a sword. Now, imagine that the words are powerful and can be gathered into an army. The words are strong on their own, but in a large number, they can either propel you into your next step or stop you in your tracks. With a battle field full of words with helmets on in mind, do you see the seriousness of this powerful tool that pushes us through life? Words are spoken to us and around us in our mother’s womb. The words help to shape us and to influence our thinking patterns. Now let me ask you a question, what are you allowing the words that have been spoken to you to do? Are you using the words to fight for you or are you allowing the words to war against you?” “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1 KJV). In the beginning was the word. The word was with God and the word was God (truth). Everything that God had to say about you from the...

When Your Season Lacks Applause

Everyone wants to fulfill your purpose until they realize what it costs you to say yes to God. People judge struggles and trials that they have not had to survive in. They want what you have, but lack the understanding of the number of tears that you have shed in order to continue to bend when the applause of man says that you should stand- up and be honored when you do something great. Your greatness is attributed to God, but people who merely seek applause from others have no idea what that really means. “I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images” (Isaiah 42:8). Walking in your purpose is beautiful. Walking in your purpose with a holy anointing will cost you something. God is not looking for people who want to be seen. He is looking for people who want to submit. Seeking to be seen out of season will set you up for attacks that you may not be ready for. It will cause you to be identified by enemies when your jo...

The Private, Matters

“And Zacharias said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.” And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings. But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time.” ( Luke 1:1-20 NKJV). Zacharias’ prayer was not answered in the way that he thought that it would be. During his prayer time with the Lord, he asked God to allow him and his wife to have a baby, but years passed, and they got older. Zacharias’ went on with his life until his season changed, and it was time. Time for what you may ask; it was time for the blessing of the Lord over this man and wife to come to pass. The issue was that Zacharias had allowed this prayer to leave his heart, and unbelief took its place. Wha...

The Barrel of Meal Shall Not Waste, Neither Shall the Cruse of Oil Fail: RESET

This morning as I was thinking about the fact that God gives us a new start each year, the word reset came to mind. I tried to figure out why that word came to mind, and I began to look up its meaning. I have listed the meaning in the noun, verb, and adjective forms. Reset- set again differently, cause to enter the state representing the number 0, a plant that is planted again, to restore, a plant that has been recently transplanted, adjust again after a failure, set anew. Once I found the meaning of the word reset, I began to look for synonyms associated with it. Words like order, switch, replace, shift, changed, corrected, reformed, prepare, recondition, make ready, modify, do over, reappraise , and rework came up. At this point, I got a little excited and began to wonder how the Lord reset His people in the bible and what that word means concerning me. One of the first thoughts that crossed my mind pertained to the prophet Isaiah and the time that hot coal was placed over hi...

Why Are You Here?

During an encounter that I had with a young person recently, I told them that things were difficult for them because there were some things that they would need to do that had never been done before. The analogy that I used to help this person understand what I was saying to them was that of a wilderness full of trees. I told this young person that they would be the first one to cut down the trees in that wilderness to create a smooth path for those coming behind them. The same is true for many of us. There are large trees that we must cut down so that those coming behind us won’t have to fight as hard as we are fighting, and they will not stumble because we are destroying everything at the root that is attempting to block us. The task of doing this may seem difficult but the testimony is worth it. You have to be able to identify the things that have hindered individuals in your lineage, know what the signs of those things are in your own life, and then eliminate it. ...

See Yourself the Way that God Sees You

In 2010 I was lost. I did not know who I was or where I was going. I was sinking. I was not living a life of purpose, but I was merely existing. That all changed when God injected Himself into the mix. I cannot say that I was looking for Him, but I can say that He definitely took the opportunity to change my heart through love. God loved me during a time when I placed a man’s attention over seeking and falling in love with the attention that He was showing me. God had already placed so much in me that He saw fit to not allow what He had already started to be wasted. I was in a backslidden state, but yet God loved me enough to still use others to show me what He thought of me. When God begins a work in you, He is faithful to bring it to completion. I desired God, but I was not running after Him. God meant me in a dark and lonely place. He continued to shower me with His love and He allowed the roots that He had already planted in my life to go from a dormmate state to a growin...

Will You Marry Me?

I’m not obsessed, but I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot more lately. As a Christian, I’ve learned where I went wrong concerning my standards of dating before I knew Jesus. I have been looking at the profile pages of exes to see if, perhaps, I was missing something. I’m happy to report that I am not. I more so found myself thanking God for what He didn’t allow. Even though I’m thankful for every failed relationship, I find myself encountering the hurt that still remains as a result of my insecurities. There is so much that I have not let go of. In a way,I’m afraid to let go of the hurt that I am carrying because that vacant spot could potentially attract more pain in its place. I want to trust people, but the fear of them knowing who I intimately am always gets in my way. I so badly desire God and everything that He has for me, but the past is a hinderance. I feel as if I should finally forgive those that misused me, ...

JaNina B.

Search This Blog