Why I won’t date

So many women define themselves by their relationship status. I used to be one of those women. It didn’t matter if that man cheated on me, lied to me, or insulted me; I was not going to leave him. I needed a relationship to make me feel beautiful and wanted, but at the same time I knew that the men that I was trying to make love me were not ordained for me. Women don’t consider that word, ORDAINED.

It’s easy for a man to make us feel loved, wanted, less lonely and desired, but that man cannot make us feel full. That is what I need in my life, fullness. I understand that God is my husband and that my fairy tale love story has to begin with him before I bring a man into the mix. You see, marriage is a union. You become one with your husband. You live with him, you love him, you worship with him and you fight (spiritually) with him. The not so tricky thing about the before mentioned aspects of marriage is that all of those things have to begin in your singleness.

I have a tendency to not want to talk to people. It’s not that I’m trying to be mean, I just like to have a lot of “me” time. The problem with this is that my actions spill over into the relationship that God wants to have with me. I have to learn about oneness and the beauty of communication from God.

Now, I understand that there are some people that have been saved sense Noah built the ark and they are ready to jump the broom, but I have never given God a real chance to be my one and only.

I used to have this list and I believed that a man had to have those qualities on my list in order to be the one for me, but I was wrong. A list does not make a man your perfect match and it will not make him Christ like. Yes, he may be smart and he may love his momma, but does he know anything about prayer, salvation, and repentance? If he does have knowledge of these things, does he put them into practice in his everyday life?

Ladies, a relationship is more than a list and you need to know who you are in Christ because a man cannot tell you that. A man cannot give you peace and a man cannot reveal your destiny to you.

I won’t date because I finally understand the importance of allowing God to have all of me and not just bits and pieces. I am not perfect, but I am under construction.

I understand that if I want a man who is strong in the area of prayer, I have to be strong in the area of prayer also.

Please understand that my love for and desire to seek God is not so that I can have a mate. My desire is to be so full of the presence of God that it changes atmospheres. My desire for God has to be understood by the man that God chooses for me and I have to understand the hunger that he has for Christ also.

Women, enjoy your singleness and stop feeling as if you are behind for whatever reason. You serve the father of time and he makes no mistakes. You are a painting in the process. Calm down, relax and enjoy the formation of the full picture as God paints you.

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right" (Song of Solomon 8:4).

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Janina B.

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