Today as I was reading the Bible, I thought about my spiritual mother and a story that she once shared about her mother concerning how she heard God in the midst of loudness. I was then reminded of a time that my spiritual mother talked to me about allowing people to get so close to you that they can hurt you. As I was listening to what she was saying, I took note of it, but I silently rejected it as soon as she said it. I understood it, but I wasn’t ready to hear it. I wasn’t ready to allow people to get close to me even if it was for the sake of allowing people to see Jesus through me.
As I look around me today, I find that it’s hard for me to truly connect to people because I have to let them in. I can be cool with people, but they are not allowed near my heart. Over time, I’ve built a fortified house for myself mentally and I physically live within fortified gates to protect me from “outsiders”.
This morning,I sensed the Lord telling me that the fortified houses must go and that I could not go forth unless they do. I struggled with sharing this revelation and then I remembered the life of Elder Sharon Williams, a woman who attended the same church as me and who had recently transitioned to go home to be with the Lord. Someone once said that she could go into her prayer closet with a problem and come out with answers. When you seek God, He will give you answers. Sometimes we go to God with one agenda and He shines a light on what He desires to work on.
This is new for me, but I desire to work toward giving God my gates of protection. So often, we allow trauma to stagnate us, but I sense God saying, no more. Give Me your walls and allow Me to protect you.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise” (Psalm 51:17KJV).
God wants to heal you. He wants to take your brokenness and your imperfections. He wants to use you for His glory. Let Him! Stop feeling as if you have to have it all together. Your life and your healing begins when you let go of it. I’m on this journey with you. Let’s do this thing!
Lord, I thank you for being a father who takes me through steps. I thank you for sitting with me and helping me to recover from everything that has hindered me from moving forward in you. John 8:36 reminds me that whom the son sets free is free in deed. Lord, I pray that you help me to leave this baggage at your feet so that I can pick up your freedom and your peace. lord, take these fortified walls. in Jesus name, Amen.
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