I remember when I first got filled with the Holy Spirit. I felt as if I had no control over myself. I woke up one morning singing a song that I had never heard in the language of God and that thang had a lot of high notes, but it was beautiful. I found myself praying more and I wasn't so reserved with what God wanted to do with me. I recall praying for my mother and I was the one to fall out, but her medical report came back perfect. I also remember spending the night with my aunt and getting no sleep at all because I was sent there to work. I danced around her hospital bed and I prayed for her, her leg was healed that night. I also recall just walking around the hospital praying down the halls. Now I wonder what happen to me. Why am I so discontent when I know the power of God and what he wants do through me? I've become reserved.
The question I ask myself now is how do I break out of the mundaneness that I feel in my life. With God it was not about me . When I allowed him to lead, miracles and wonders followed. All I did was move and God did the rest. What happen to me? What made life feel boring? Why do I feel as if I am not being used? In many ways I have become reserved because of fear. Fear keeps us bound and it prohibits us from moving in the way that God needs us to. God has called us to break out of our shell not build a more secure one. So many people would be blessed if they would stop comparing their lives to those of the people around them. I do this a lot. I question the work of God's hands without considering the fact that perhaps I have been hindering my own process. I know what it's like to not be in control. I listened although I was uncomfortable and God moved because of my obedience.
Lord, forgive me for silencing the Holy Spirit. We can't tell the spirit of God to shut up because we are tired and scared. When the spirit of God speaks it is for a reason,but our disobedience causes not only us to miss out on seeing the marvelousness of God, but it also causes the ones that we are sent to miss out. Never get proud because you are anointed. It is not by your own power that the anointing flows but it is by God's spirit that you will be used. It is not your hand that produces healing or breaks yokes but it is through Christ alone. Paul stated that he considers " everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith (Philippians 3:8-9)". Paul had every reason to boast in himself. Not only did he have the anointing of God over his life, but he was also intelligent. The bible says that he was perfect concerning the law of Moses, but he had sense enough to not put his accolades over what has been accomplished at the cross.
Life is not about your education or being better than the next person, but it is about God. You will acquire everything that you have need of once you surrender your all to him.
Lord I come with a heart that is sorry for being discontent with my now. God forgive me for questioning your promises concerning my life and help me to submit to your spirit and this process.
Lord let my heart yearn for more of you and let my ears be attentive to your words, Lord take me back to the place of releasing the control of my life back to you. Holy Spirit use me. Help me to be sure of your promptings and move forward in confidence that it is you speaking. Lord bless and cover each person that is reading this. I pray that they open their hearts, minds, and ears in order to be used. Don't be afraid to move no matter how scary it may look. If God tells you to do something, have faith that he will provide all that you need. I pray for anyone that God is speaking to about becoming a missionary <3 Don't be afraid to move.. In Jesus name, Amen.
Recommended reading:
"These are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2: 10- 16).
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