The truth about sex and dating: What the world didn’t tell me and what God had to show me.

I am so passionate about relationships and waiting for the spouse that God will choose for me because I know the outcome of dating the world’s way. The world’s way of dating broke my heart on more occasions than I care to talk about and it put me in dangerous situations that could have affected the rest of my life. People don’t take dating seriously. They look at a person, see that they are attractive, and allow lust to enter their hearts and minds. To put it in a different way people date to have sex, not to marry. In some cases people end up in a relationship and in other cases both parties move on to the next warm body that they can find.

The world’s view of dating involves living together before marriage, one night stands, and having sex before marriage. I’m writing this with the young girls that I work with in mind. I see them twerking, pretending to be pregnant, and putting on booty shorts to see who has the biggest behind. I’m scared for them and girls like them because they don’t have the proper information about what is heathy for their bodies or their minds. I was like them in many ways. I wore tight cloths that got me the wrong attention, I played the pregnancy card, and I trusted my body with folks who could have cared less about me. Young people learn about sex from their friends and television instead of from church or from their parents. Google does not explain the spiritual aspect of what multiple partners can do to your mind or your heart. People don’t even look at God as the greatest sex ed teacher that they will ever have in life, but he taught me about the damage that I was doing to my body and my mind.

In a blog that wrote last year, I talked about some of the stupid “dating” mistakes that I made as a teenager. I thought that sex was just what it was…sex. I didn’t know that there was a spirit behind sex that could cause thoughts and actions that were perverted and unnatural. I knew nothing about sex addictions or that it was inappropriate to look at porn. All I knew was that my friends were doing it. Common sense should have caused me to consider the ages that we were. I knew girls that were 7^th graders having sex and I actually felt like I was late and missing out when I heard them talk about it. I was misinformed and I had no one that I trusted enough to talk to about my concerns.

I never took sexually transmitted diseases seriously and by grace, I did not have this issue. I never knew that God would have to deal with me in this area of my life. I was one of those girls that expected love from who I choose to date. I wanted to get married and try to fill empty vessels when I was empty myself. I accepted and did things that I am not proud of. In the end, I only hurt myself and over time the hurt and the hole of bitterness only grew deeper. When you date and have sex with people that God never intended for you to be with, you allow so many unclean things into your life that may require deliverance. There are some roots that only God can pull and he still is pulling some roots out of my life.

It is important to wait for sex until marriage so that your heart can be pure and ready for the mate that God will send you. It is so easy to break up with someone, but they still have a place in your heart. When you haven’t fully broken up with someone in your heart, you will think about and compare every mate that you have after them to your new mate although you haven’t seen them in years. Young people, guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus. You also need to guard your reputation. Yes, some people will talk about you regardless of what you do or don’t do, but you have control over what is true. Be mindful of the company that you keep. All friends are not good friends. Be selective about who you allow into your life. Some people come into your life to hurt you and others come to help you. As a Christian, God has cleaned up my circle and it does not involve people that were in life before I gave my life to him.

I am writing this to you with love in my heart and a desire to see you have healthy, happy lives and relationships.

There is a blessing in waiting for God.

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Janina B.

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