The truth about sex and dating: What the world didn’t tell me and what God had to show me.

I am so passionate about relationships and waiting for the spouse that God will choose for me because I know the outcome of dating the world’s way. The world’s way of dating broke my heart on more occasions than I care to talk about and it put me in dangerous situations that could have affected the rest of my life. People don’t take dating seriously. They look at a person, see that they are attractive, and allow lust to enter their hearts and minds. To put it in a different way people date to have sex, not to marry. In some cases people end up in a relationship and in other cases both parties move on to the next warm body that they can find.

The world’s view of dating involves living together before marriage, one night stands, and having sex before marriage. I’m writing this with the young girls that I work with in mind. I see them twerking, pretending to be pregnant, and putting on booty shorts to see who has the biggest behind. I’m scared for them and girls like them because they don’t have the proper information about what is heathy for their bodies or their minds. I was like them in many ways. I wore tight cloths that got me the wrong attention, I played the pregnancy card, and I trusted my body with folks who could have cared less about me. Young people learn about sex from their friends and television instead of from church or from their parents. Google does not explain the spiritual aspect of what multiple partners can do to your mind or your heart. People don’t even look at God as the greatest sex ed teacher that they will ever have in life, but he taught me about the damage that I was doing to my body and my mind.

In a blog that wrote last year, I talked about some of the stupid “dating” mistakes that I made as a teenager. I thought that sex was just what it was…sex. I didn’t know that there was a spirit behind sex that could cause thoughts and actions that were perverted and unnatural. I knew nothing about sex addictions or that it was inappropriate to look at porn. All I knew was that my friends were doing it. Common sense should have caused me to consider the ages that we were. I knew girls that were 7^th graders having sex and I actually felt like I was late and missing out when I heard them talk about it. I was misinformed and I had no one that I trusted enough to talk to about my concerns.

I never took sexually transmitted diseases seriously and by grace, I did not have this issue. I never knew that God would have to deal with me in this area of my life. I was one of those girls that expected love from who I choose to date. I wanted to get married and try to fill empty vessels when I was empty myself. I accepted and did things that I am not proud of. In the end, I only hurt myself and over time the hurt and the hole of bitterness only grew deeper. When you date and have sex with people that God never intended for you to be with, you allow so many unclean things into your life that may require deliverance. There are some roots that only God can pull and he still is pulling some roots out of my life.

It is important to wait for sex until marriage so that your heart can be pure and ready for the mate that God will send you. It is so easy to break up with someone, but they still have a place in your heart. When you haven’t fully broken up with someone in your heart, you will think about and compare every mate that you have after them to your new mate although you haven’t seen them in years. Young people, guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus. You also need to guard your reputation. Yes, some people will talk about you regardless of what you do or don’t do, but you have control over what is true. Be mindful of the company that you keep. All friends are not good friends. Be selective about who you allow into your life. Some people come into your life to hurt you and others come to help you. As a Christian, God has cleaned up my circle and it does not involve people that were in life before I gave my life to him.

I am writing this to you with love in my heart and a desire to see you have healthy, happy lives and relationships.

There is a blessing in waiting for God.

Comments

Can You Praise the Lord in Prison?

“Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening” (Acts 16:25 NLT). Paul and Silas were some bad boys! Can you imagine doing the right thing and being locked up because of it? These men had a freedom that the people they encountered needed to see because they were not bound although others could visibly see the chains that had been placed on them. They did not misrepresent Christ because of their circumstances and they did not try to give up serving Him because of the predicament that they had found themselves in. ~~~~~ Stop being mad at God because things do not go the way that you expect them to. ~~~~~ “ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul and Silas knew who their God was and they knew that He was going to come through for them no matter what their situation looked like. They knew enough about God...

Why Are You Here?

During an encounter that I had with a young person recently, I told them that things were difficult for them because there were some things that they would need to do that had never been done before. The analogy that I used to help this person understand what I was saying to them was that of a wilderness full of trees. I told this young person that they would be the first one to cut down the trees in that wilderness to create a smooth path for those coming behind them. The same is true for many of us. There are large trees that we must cut down so that those coming behind us won’t have to fight as hard as we are fighting, and they will not stumble because we are destroying everything at the root that is attempting to block us. The task of doing this may seem difficult but the testimony is worth it. You have to be able to identify the things that have hindered individuals in your lineage, know what the signs of those things are in your own life, and then eliminate it. ...

Preparation in Waiting

One thing that I have learned about God over the years is that his plan for my life is so much greater than my own. I have also learned that his vision can be more than I can bear at times because I have a tendency to try to make the parts that he has revealed to me come to pass on my own. I ask God why and when, but the truth is that I am not ready. My faith has to grow and I’m still being prepped. It’s easy to feel like a failure when you’re trying to meet the expectation of others. I come from a family of all stars. I was expected to go to college. I expected myself to have what they have and to live how they live, but God…… God is expecting something different from me. He is expecting me to do and to move how he tells me to. This is hard…I have people expecting success from me. God is expecting success from me to. He is expecting me to listen and to wait. Waiting is hard. Jesus waited. At 12 Jesus was wise, but he had to wait. People expected things from Him also. They expected...

You Are Not Alone: Wilderness Chronicles pt.2

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers” (1 Kings:19;4 KJV). The wilderness is a different place to different people. Some people consider the wilderness to be a dry place full of nothing. Other people may consider the wilderness to be a situation. Whatever you consider your wilderness to be, know that you are not alone. The devil uses the wilderness to isolate you, but God uses the wilderness to teach you, advance you, equip you, and then eventually release you out (or back) into your purpose. God can also use the wilderness to refresh you. Elijah was an awesome man of God. He literally prayed down fire and he went against kings in the name of the Lord. Elijah was bold, but he was also human. On one particular occasion, Elijah went into the wilderness after an encounter he had wi...

Pass The Test

People have a tendency of telling me that I am nice. Some people say that I am too nice and other people attempt to take advantage of my niceness and mistake it for weakness. The truth is that I am really not that that great, I just get convicted. I cannot treat people any way that I want to and receive the things that God has for me. I cannot kick your cat just because you kicked my dog. There are many instances where I have to apologize, work on my heart, and repent instead of blaming other people for how I feel they treat me. “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart”. (1 Samuel 16:7) I cannot go before the Lord with a filthy heart and truly believe that he is going to bless me. You have to know who you are in Jesus regardless of how people treat you and you have to respond with wisdom and with the heart of Christ. “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I...

Walk on Water Faith

Becoming great takes faith. Peter did not become great in the twinkle of an eye. He had to go through things. This same man who stood up boldly to tell people about the Holy Spirit also once denied Jesus. We have to be so prayed up in Christ because we don’t always know what our flesh or our circumstances will cause us to do. The struggle to greatness gets real! David had to fight many battles not only in the world, but in the kingdom of God because he was called to greatness. David wrote many psalms documenting his trails and successes. He was a man after God’s own heart, but yet he was not perfect. We go through things that help sustain us in this life and we can’t remain discouraged by the hurts that the world throws at us. I admire the bravery of the apostles because I don’t know how well I would have done emotionally if whole systems were coming against me. These men were beat, lied on, and put in prison because of the Christ that they were representing. People will ...

The Healing Prophet

I did not desire to write this, but I heard this title and agreed to be obedient. I once read a statement by Tasha Cobbs Leonard. She shared that she would go and sing, return home, and then feel depressed. I understand that feeling more than I would like to admit. Depression is a weapon the enemy uses against those whom God has anointed in many areas. Depression has stagnation attached to it, and its assignment is to either kill you, isolate you, or both. As a therapist, I help many people navigate through depression. I advise increased therapy sessions and medication when needed. I tell them all the ways to battle what has been battling them while being in the very same fight myself. Depression is nobody’s friend. It is an enemy that wounds. The Healing Prophet is an intentional title. It speaks to the heart of the one who carries and speaks the oracles of God, and today, God has a word for you, and for me. “Get up and believe Me.” I...

Those Are Fighting Words!!

If you would, imagine that words can be cloth in armor, have a helmet on, and can carry a sword. Now, imagine that the words are powerful and can be gathered into an army. The words are strong on their own, but in a large number, they can either propel you into your next step or stop you in your tracks. With a battle field full of words with helmets on in mind, do you see the seriousness of this powerful tool that pushes us through life? Words are spoken to us and around us in our mother’s womb. The words help to shape us and to influence our thinking patterns. Now let me ask you a question, what are you allowing the words that have been spoken to you to do? Are you using the words to fight for you or are you allowing the words to war against you?” “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1 KJV). In the beginning was the word. The word was with God and the word was God (truth). Everything that God had to say about you from the...

HOPE

I believe that God sends us prophecies to offer us hope. I received my first prophecies around the age of 16. I was pretty aware of how God used his people to speak into the lives of others, but I would always hide at church when God started talking. I used to be afraid of people who had that gift because I was scared that they would know what I was thinking. Many times, although our thoughts are uncomfortable, when God lets you know that HE SEES YOU, there is a comfort in that. Wow, God sees me. I don’t remember who or what the first words were that God used someone to speak to me, but there are still so many words that He has released to me that offer me hope. Hope can be hard to hang on to in the storms of life. There are many times that I feel alone and forgotten, but I have to remember that GOD SEES ME. God will send a word of hope to you to comfort you in the times that you feel hopeless and lost. The irony in this is that some words may come before you think you need the...

Waiting for the Promise vs. Moving in Impatience

“Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child? ” And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” Then God said: “No, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his descendants after him” ( Genesis 17: 17-19 NKJV). Isaac was desired, but Ismael was birthed out of impatience. If God told you that you were going to birth something beautiful, no matter what your season may look like, bank on the Lord’s promises. Your Ishmael does not have to be a man, your Ishmael can be an opportunity. Don’t walk into just any ole thing because you got tired of waiting on God. If God promised you something in 2016 and you didn’t see it in 2017, that does not mean that He forgot about what He promised you. Isaac had a set season and ...

JaNina B.

Search This Blog