My Heart

Don't allow anyone or anything to distract you from the relationship that you have with God. How deep does your love go for your father? Are you willing to risk it all for him? Are you willing to leave your family, friends, and intimate relationships for him? Some people have such a special relationship with God, that other people won’t/don’t understand it. They don’t understand why you’re on your on your face when they walk past you at church or in your own home; they don’t understand those late night prayer sessions that you can’t keep to yourself. Some of us are so desperate for love that we ignore God's divine love. It’s time to do a self-check of what you think love is. I didn't understand God's love and I still don't. I try to figure out why he loves me, it baffles me. My mind has a hard time trying to understand God’s love. God’s love will not make me depressed; it will not leave a trail of tears on my pillow. God's love is respectful and kind. God's love won’t treat me like a piece of meat, talk about me, use me, or abandon me. Do a self-check ladies and gentleman. What is distracting you from God's love and the pure relationship that he wants to have with you? I find myself in a place that I can't comprehend and that I don't understand, but I want to live in it. I find myself wanting to literally scream out to God, but my fear of who might hear me gets in the way. The fact that I have never praised God like that gets in my way. I want to do away with the pride, ego, shame, shyness and the what will they think of me. I don't want it. I want my pure heart to show..... What is getting in your way? What is hindering you from serving God with the passion that he deserves? My own prayer is to ask God to teach me how to receive him and live in his presence. I mean his true presence. Not that cute stuff, I want the God who talks to me, the God who l bow down in front of. I want to know God like David and Moses knew God. We play around with him and we forget who he is. We are under grace and mercy and we should never forget that. God does not have to do anything for us. He does not have to wake you up, he does not have to put up with your sin, but his love is so strong. How can we over look that? I don't want to overlook him anymore. This is more than just something that I am writing this is my heart for my father. God wants our hearts folks, not just a piece of it, but the whole thing.

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Turn Aside and See

“And Moses said, ‘I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.’ When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush.” (Exodus 3:3-4a) Moses was born into both chaos and love. The chaos was Pharaoh demanding that growth be hindered by killing all the male babies, and the love was from God and his parents. Moses was consecrated in a hiding place and then in a dangerous river. He was found by faith and given the perspective of the slave and of royalty. Moses’ heart was never to be above, but to be at eye level with those he loved. Moses was already accepted by God, chosen, and loved. He was consecrated before he could understand purpose. Moses, in his passion, did something that no one accepted. He killed a man when he tried to protect another one. He went on the run, broken, but not alone. Moses didn’t cry. He adjusted. Pain was there, but so was provision and more lessons. ...

Keep Your Lamp Filled

“Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept” (Matthew 25:1–5). Everyone had the same mindset to go to the same place for the same reason. Everyone was on their way, but partial action was taken by five of the virgins. The bridegroom had the capacity to care for all ten. Everyone had a lamp, but everyone did not have oil to see Who they were waiting for. The oil was available, but five virgins did not take the initiative to get more oil. What they had was not enough for the journey they were on. Five of the virgins were wise; they did what was needed to obtain more oil. The other five virgins were foolish, thinking that what they had was enough and that getting...

Fear Can Not Exist Where Healing is Needed: The Authority of Jesus within Mental Health

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Need Prayer?

“But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail” (Luke 22:32a). For a time, I didn’t ask people for prayer . I became protective of ‘my stuff,’ and I backed away from needing people because I had me-the army of one. I felt alone, misunderstood; all the things that I wanted no one to know about because I got me . This mindset created offense and functional depression. I backed away so that no one would see it; no one knew me enough to recognize what it looked like. “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat” (Luke 22:32b). What does it look like when you are being sifted? The sifting starts early in life and can be a continuous pattern if the devil feels like his tactics are working against you. I asked a friend recently, “Why am I so emotional? Did God give me these emotions?” I tend to feel deeply because I am an intercessor, but the emotions have to be stewarded properly. You have to master them by submit...

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I’m not obsessed, but I’ve been thinking about marriage a lot more lately. As a Christian, I’ve learned where I went wrong concerning my standards of dating before I knew Jesus. I have been looking at the profile pages of exes to see if, perhaps, I was missing something. I’m happy to report that I am not. I more so found myself thanking God for what He didn’t allow. Even though I’m thankful for every failed relationship, I find myself encountering the hurt that still remains as a result of my insecurities. There is so much that I have not let go of. In a way,I’m afraid to let go of the hurt that I am carrying because that vacant spot could potentially attract more pain in its place. I want to trust people, but the fear of them knowing who I intimately am always gets in my way. I so badly desire God and everything that He has for me, but the past is a hinderance. I feel as if I should finally forgive those that misused me, ...

Can You Praise the Lord in Prison?

“Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening” (Acts 16:25 NLT). Paul and Silas were some bad boys! Can you imagine doing the right thing and being locked up because of it? These men had a freedom that the people they encountered needed to see because they were not bound although others could visibly see the chains that had been placed on them. They did not misrepresent Christ because of their circumstances and they did not try to give up serving Him because of the predicament that they had found themselves in. ~~~~~ Stop being mad at God because things do not go the way that you expect them to. ~~~~~ “ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul and Silas knew who their God was and they knew that He was going to come through for them no matter what their situation looked like. They knew enough about God...

The Process of Faithing It: Trusting Jesus with Your Faith

“Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction” (Mark 5:34 NKJV). Can you imagine Jesus in a crowd? Everyone has a need, but His target in that moment is to go and build the faith of a little girl’s family at the request of her father because they think that she will die. The father is scared, but Jesus was on the way until He felt something. This feeling was different, but powerful. Jesus turns around looking, asking questions, but finds his answer in the form of a woman, standing and looking amazed at what just happened to her. After 13 years of anemia, tiredness, dizzy spells, soiled clothing, and impacted relationships, she is healed. This woman with an issue of blood had spent all of her money, but decided to trust Jesus with her faith, which was all that she had left. Jesus was not too busy to stop and ask, “Who touched me?”. The disciples reminded Jesus of all the people that were around them, but this touch was different. Some...

It Is Well: Faith Through Trigeminal Neuralgia

“ Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘ My grace is all you need . My power works best in weakness ’ . ‘ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong ’ ” (2 Corinthians 12:8-10). I can’t tell you how many times I spoke through tears. The tears where not because of emotions, but because of the searing shocks caused by Trigeminal Neuralgia. Trigeminal Neuralgia is a condition that causes intense pain, usually affecting one side of the face. It is a rare disorder that affects less than 1 percent of the population. I happen to be in that 1 percent. The pain from this disorder feels like shocks that are auditioning for a lightning storm show. Th...

Peace Be Still

“ One day he got into a boat with his disciples, and he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” So they set out, and as they sailed he fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. And they went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And he awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. He said to them, “Where is your faith?” And they were afraid, and they marv...

Take Up Your Cross

God paved the way for my present and my future with the prayers that He placed into my heart many years ago. I didn’t know what new challenges I would have to overcome or what would be required of me as I uttered the sentiments of my heart into His ears. All I knew was that I wanted to serve Him. One my many heart’s desires was to not be a seat filler. I didn’t want to grow content with occupying a seat in the church and never getting out of it to go into all the world to do what God had ordained for me to do in the earth. At that time I didn’t know who God had called me to be and I didn’t understand that some of my prayers was an indication of it. Spoken from a transparent place, as life happened, the more God told me to get up the more I wanted to sit down. Tiredness and fear had gripped me on more occasions than I want to admit and I have had the audacity to whisper, “ get somebody else to do it”, on more than one occasion. I felt justified in what I...

JaNina B.

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