My Heart

Don't allow anyone or anything to distract you from the relationship that you have with God. How deep does your love go for your father? Are you willing to risk it all for him? Are you willing to leave your family, friends, and intimate relationships for him? Some people have such a special relationship with God, that other people won’t/don’t understand it. They don’t understand why you’re on your on your face when they walk past you at church or in your own home; they don’t understand those late night prayer sessions that you can’t keep to yourself. Some of us are so desperate for love that we ignore God's divine love. It’s time to do a self-check of what you think love is. I didn't understand God's love and I still don't. I try to figure out why he loves me, it baffles me. My mind has a hard time trying to understand God’s love. God’s love will not make me depressed; it will not leave a trail of tears on my pillow. God's love is respectful and kind. God's love won’t treat me like a piece of meat, talk about me, use me, or abandon me. Do a self-check ladies and gentleman. What is distracting you from God's love and the pure relationship that he wants to have with you? I find myself in a place that I can't comprehend and that I don't understand, but I want to live in it. I find myself wanting to literally scream out to God, but my fear of who might hear me gets in the way. The fact that I have never praised God like that gets in my way. I want to do away with the pride, ego, shame, shyness and the what will they think of me. I don't want it. I want my pure heart to show..... What is getting in your way? What is hindering you from serving God with the passion that he deserves? My own prayer is to ask God to teach me how to receive him and live in his presence. I mean his true presence. Not that cute stuff, I want the God who talks to me, the God who l bow down in front of. I want to know God like David and Moses knew God. We play around with him and we forget who he is. We are under grace and mercy and we should never forget that. God does not have to do anything for us. He does not have to wake you up, he does not have to put up with your sin, but his love is so strong. How can we over look that? I don't want to overlook him anymore. This is more than just something that I am writing this is my heart for my father. God wants our hearts folks, not just a piece of it, but the whole thing.

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JaNina B.

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