My Heart

Don't allow anyone or anything to distract you from the relationship that you have with God. How deep does your love go for your father? Are you willing to risk it all for him? Are you willing to leave your family, friends, and intimate relationships for him? Some people have such a special relationship with God, that other people won’t/don’t understand it. They don’t understand why you’re on your on your face when they walk past you at church or in your own home; they don’t understand those late night prayer sessions that you can’t keep to yourself. Some of us are so desperate for love that we ignore God's divine love. It’s time to do a self-check of what you think love is. I didn't understand God's love and I still don't. I try to figure out why he loves me, it baffles me. My mind has a hard time trying to understand God’s love. God’s love will not make me depressed; it will not leave a trail of tears on my pillow. God's love is respectful and kind. God's love won’t treat me like a piece of meat, talk about me, use me, or abandon me. Do a self-check ladies and gentleman. What is distracting you from God's love and the pure relationship that he wants to have with you? I find myself in a place that I can't comprehend and that I don't understand, but I want to live in it. I find myself wanting to literally scream out to God, but my fear of who might hear me gets in the way. The fact that I have never praised God like that gets in my way. I want to do away with the pride, ego, shame, shyness and the what will they think of me. I don't want it. I want my pure heart to show..... What is getting in your way? What is hindering you from serving God with the passion that he deserves? My own prayer is to ask God to teach me how to receive him and live in his presence. I mean his true presence. Not that cute stuff, I want the God who talks to me, the God who l bow down in front of. I want to know God like David and Moses knew God. We play around with him and we forget who he is. We are under grace and mercy and we should never forget that. God does not have to do anything for us. He does not have to wake you up, he does not have to put up with your sin, but his love is so strong. How can we over look that? I don't want to overlook him anymore. This is more than just something that I am writing this is my heart for my father. God wants our hearts folks, not just a piece of it, but the whole thing.

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Why I won’t date

So many women define themselves by their relationship status. I used to be one of those women. It didn’t matter if that man cheated on me, lied to me, or insulted me; I was not going to leave him. I needed a relationship to make me feel beautiful and wanted, but at the same time I knew that the men that I was trying to make love me were not ordained for me. Women don’t consider that word, ORDAINED. It’s easy for a man to make us feel loved, wanted, less lonely and desired, but that man cannot make us feel full. That is what I need in my life, fullness. I understand that God is my husband and that my fairy tale love story has to begin with him before I bring a man into the mix. You see, marriage is a union. You become one with your husband. You live with him, you love him, you worship with him and you fight (spiritually) with him. The not so tricky thing about the before mentioned aspects of marriage is that all of those things have to begin in your singleness. I have a tendency...

The Private, Matters

“And Zacharias said to the angel, “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is well advanced in years.” And the angel answered and said to him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and was sent to speak to you and bring you these glad tidings. But behold, you will be mute and not able to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words which will be fulfilled in their own time.” ( Luke 1:1-20 NKJV). Zacharias’ prayer was not answered in the way that he thought that it would be. During his prayer time with the Lord, he asked God to allow him and his wife to have a baby, but years passed, and they got older. Zacharias’ went on with his life until his season changed, and it was time. Time for what you may ask; it was time for the blessing of the Lord over this man and wife to come to pass. The issue was that Zacharias had allowed this prayer to leave his heart, and unbelief took its place. Wha...

Why Are You Here?

During an encounter that I had with a young person recently, I told them that things were difficult for them because there were some things that they would need to do that had never been done before. The analogy that I used to help this person understand what I was saying to them was that of a wilderness full of trees. I told this young person that they would be the first one to cut down the trees in that wilderness to create a smooth path for those coming behind them. The same is true for many of us. There are large trees that we must cut down so that those coming behind us won’t have to fight as hard as we are fighting, and they will not stumble because we are destroying everything at the root that is attempting to block us. The task of doing this may seem difficult but the testimony is worth it. You have to be able to identify the things that have hindered individuals in your lineage, know what the signs of those things are in your own life, and then eliminate it. ...

Can You Praise the Lord in Prison?

“Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening” (Acts 16:25 NLT). Paul and Silas were some bad boys! Can you imagine doing the right thing and being locked up because of it? These men had a freedom that the people they encountered needed to see because they were not bound although others could visibly see the chains that had been placed on them. They did not misrepresent Christ because of their circumstances and they did not try to give up serving Him because of the predicament that they had found themselves in. ~~~~~ Stop being mad at God because things do not go the way that you expect them to. ~~~~~ “ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). Paul and Silas knew who their God was and they knew that He was going to come through for them no matter what their situation looked like. They knew enough about God...

You Are Not Alone: Wilderness Chronicles pt.2

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers” (1 Kings:19;4 KJV). The wilderness is a different place to different people. Some people consider the wilderness to be a dry place full of nothing. Other people may consider the wilderness to be a situation. Whatever you consider your wilderness to be, know that you are not alone. The devil uses the wilderness to isolate you, but God uses the wilderness to teach you, advance you, equip you, and then eventually release you out (or back) into your purpose. God can also use the wilderness to refresh you. Elijah was an awesome man of God. He literally prayed down fire and he went against kings in the name of the Lord. Elijah was bold, but he was also human. On one particular occasion, Elijah went into the wilderness after an encounter he had wi...

Eat The Meat

I am not sure what age my parents took my bottle away, but I do know that I was old enough to understand that it was time for me to give it up. I remember wanting a pool, and my father told me that I could have the pool if I threw the bottle away. He didn’t have to tell me twice. I put the bottle in the trash and found it back on the counter a little while later. Perhaps my parents knew that I would not adjust well, or perhaps they didn’t want to find out what it would look like for me to go through that transition in that moment in time. To make a long story short, I continued to use that bottle after I threw it away, and I never got that pool that I wanted. Growing up never excited me, and I suffered for many years because of it. There were times that I thought that I was big enough to be ‘grown', but mistakes and the need of my mom pulled me right back down into reality. As I continued to get older, many intersections that I faced placed me in a...

Waiting for the Promise vs. Moving in Impatience

“Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child? ” And Abraham said to God, “Oh, that Ishmael might live before You!” Then God said: “No, Sarah your wife shall bear you a son, and you shall call his name Isaac; I will establish My covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his descendants after him” ( Genesis 17: 17-19 NKJV). Isaac was desired, but Ismael was birthed out of impatience. If God told you that you were going to birth something beautiful, no matter what your season may look like, bank on the Lord’s promises. Your Ishmael does not have to be a man, your Ishmael can be an opportunity. Don’t walk into just any ole thing because you got tired of waiting on God. If God promised you something in 2016 and you didn’t see it in 2017, that does not mean that He forgot about what He promised you. Isaac had a set season and ...

My Personal Truth

I remember sitting on the bus in middle school and this guy who was older than me told someone that when I started having sex I wouldn’t be able to stop. I was always very quiet, but I thought to myself, how could someone who didn’t know me say such a thing? He was in a sense, speaking over me. I was kinda rebellious as a teen. I lost my virginity at the age of 14 and I had already been on most of the depression medications that were out at that time. I was in love with love and that led to a lot of heart ache. I even left home for a little while when I was 17 because my mother found a pregnancy test in my bathroom. It did not look like I would graduate from college. It did not look like I was a smart young lady. It did not look like I would amount to anything, but God saw different in me. I got saved for the first time when I was16. I did not understand God or how he operated. Even when I was saved? I just knew that I was on my way to hell. During that time, I battled depr...

Walk on Water Faith

Becoming great takes faith. Peter did not become great in the twinkle of an eye. He had to go through things. This same man who stood up boldly to tell people about the Holy Spirit also once denied Jesus. We have to be so prayed up in Christ because we don’t always know what our flesh or our circumstances will cause us to do. The struggle to greatness gets real! David had to fight many battles not only in the world, but in the kingdom of God because he was called to greatness. David wrote many psalms documenting his trails and successes. He was a man after God’s own heart, but yet he was not perfect. We go through things that help sustain us in this life and we can’t remain discouraged by the hurts that the world throws at us. I admire the bravery of the apostles because I don’t know how well I would have done emotionally if whole systems were coming against me. These men were beat, lied on, and put in prison because of the Christ that they were representing. People will ...

Those Are Fighting Words!!

If you would, imagine that words can be cloth in armor, have a helmet on, and can carry a sword. Now, imagine that the words are powerful and can be gathered into an army. The words are strong on their own, but in a large number, they can either propel you into your next step or stop you in your tracks. With a battle field full of words with helmets on in mind, do you see the seriousness of this powerful tool that pushes us through life? Words are spoken to us and around us in our mother’s womb. The words help to shape us and to influence our thinking patterns. Now let me ask you a question, what are you allowing the words that have been spoken to you to do? Are you using the words to fight for you or are you allowing the words to war against you?” “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1 KJV). In the beginning was the word. The word was with God and the word was God (truth). Everything that God had to say about you from the...

JaNina B.

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