I used to spend so much time regretting the past. I regretted
the things that I did, the people that I let in my life and the people that I
hurt. If I have ever hurt any of you I am truly sorry. It is so easy to hold on
to things that seem simple to one person but can be life altering to another. I
had to learn to forgive. I am still learning to forgive. As much as I wish I
could change certain events in life they made me who I am. Strangely enough,
every time my heart was broken it drew me closer to God. This is important because
during these times I learned about who he was. I did not understand it then and
I even back slide but I understand now. God was always there to dry every tear
and heal every heart break. I took him for granted on many occasions but that
set up has done nothing but make me cling to him more now. I do not always get
it right, but I never want to go back to places that he has brought me from.
You began to understand how far he has brought you when you truly leave those
things alone. You see a change in your life when you stop talking to certain
people and going to certain places. When you are alone with God you learn who
he is, you learn how to hear his voice, and you learn the plans that he has for
your life. Stop regretting your past and embrace the mess that God has brought
you out of. There will be many nights when you feel like “I try but sometimes I
fail, now I realize that I need your help, I need you lord”. On many occasions I
have gone over my day and seen where I could have done better, but perfect
people don’t need God. I am not perfect. I am a hot mess who has a savior that
loves me and works on me daily. You have to get to a place where you know that
you need him and that you can’t do this life by your - self. The creator of
hearts and emotions can certainly straighten out any situation that you are
going through. Stop being ashamed! God loves you and the end result is that you
win. You are more than a conquer. You have to learn how to stand even when it
is hard. I love Job. Job had to stand even though he had lost everything in the
world but his life. Job did not even have his health ya’ll. God is such a
strong tower. Do not get in the place of being content with just encouraging
others. Do not resent God when the fire falls in your own life. Your faith will
not turn to ashes! God is a consistent and loving God. You need to get off of
your behind and get on your face so that you can talk to your father! God has
no intention or desire to embarrass you but his intention is to teach you. Stop
being mad and getting an attitude when people correct you! You need him!
In 2010 I was lost. I did not know who I was or where I was going. I was sinking. I was not living a life of purpose, but I was merely existing. That all changed when God injected Himself into the mix. I cannot say that I was looking for Him, but I can say that He definitely took the opportunity to change my heart through love. God loved me during a time when I placed a man’s attention over seeking and falling in love with the attention that He was showing me. God had already placed so much in me that He saw fit to not allow what He had already started to be wasted. I was in a backslidden state, but yet God loved me enough to still use others to show me what He thought of me. When God begins a work in you, He is faithful to bring it to completion. I desired God, but I was not running after Him. God meant me in a dark and lonely place. He continued to shower me with His love and He allowed the roots that He had already planted in my life to go from a dormmate state to a growin...
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