Janina B.

  God paved the way for my present and my future with the prayers that He placed into my heart many years ago. I didn’t know what new challenges I would have to overcome or what would be required of me as I uttered the sentiments of my heart into His ears. All I knew was that I wanted to serve Him.   One my many heart’s desires was to not be a seat filler. I didn’t want to grow content with occupying a seat in the church and never getting out of it to go into all the world to do what God had ordained for me to do in the earth.    At that time I didn’t know who God had called me to be and I didn’t understand that some of my prayers was an indication of it.   Spoken from a transparent place, as life happened, the more God told me to get up the more I wanted to sit down. Tiredness and fear had gripped me on more occasions than I want to admit and I have had the audacity to whisper, “ get somebody else to do it”, on more than one occasion. I felt justified in what I was feeling and I had f

“And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha , Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her”.  (Luke 10:41-42)   Being stressed became more normal than abiding in grace. Being quiet became more of a necessity than crying out to God. Being mad and bitter has attempted to take over my identity as a woman of peace. It has been rough for a sista to say the least, but I was reminded recently that grace still abounds. I found myself having to guard my words to protect the feelings of others even when they didn’t do the same, and I wanted to escape thinking because it became more of a tedious task than a part of my purpose. I thought that I had reached a breaking point recently, and I was reminded of Mary and Martha.   Stress and the issues of life made me forget that I can give all of these things to Jesus because He cares for me. I have been like an energizer who has no ener