Janina B.

“What is man that you take thought of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” (Psalms 8:4 New American Standard). There are a lot of times when I am not mindful of God. I do what I want because it’s what I feel like doing at the moment. Even if that something is bad for me I pursue it, but even in the midst of that God still loves me. God has and still does love me through every mistake. He pursues me. He chases after me because He is the lover of my soul. God loves our soul. He enjoys when we take thought of Him and when we spend time with Him. God desires our time. Our busy lives cause us to miss out on valuable time that could be spent with our father. I’m one of those cases in which God has to instruct me Himself. He is teaching me love. I try to understand His love for me, but it’s hard. Who am I that the creator of the universe should take thought of me? He has placed so much on the inside of me that I cannot see, but I pray that He opens my eyes and yours to see

I did not realize the amount of unforgiveness that I had for a particular individual from my past until recently. I believe that the memory of the hurt that this person caused me came to my attention so that I could deal with it. I have to be free. I can’t carry old weights or old desires. The situation arouse in such a messy way, that I believe that it was caused to make me lose focus. It did. I cried like I did when that person was in my life. I did not forgive them. A part of me holds both unforgiveness and love. We have to look at the bigger picture of what God wants to do through us and where He wants to take us. The beauty of God is that He does not want for us to operate in hurt. He wants every area in our lives to be clean and fully devoted to him. God used Paul in such a mighty way, but he was a person that had hurt people. Paul witnessed a man murdered and approved of it. Paul desired to persecute the church. He was probably very scary and intimidating to Christians bec